


Change of mind

by Bproudnbrave



Series: Loona One-Shots [8]
Category: LOONA (Korea Band)
Genre: Betrayal, Catfish - Freeform, F/F, Hyerim, Little bit of angst, Soulmates, bestfriends, chuuves - Freeform, hyunsoul
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-28
Updated: 2020-06-28
Packaged: 2021-03-04 07:40:58
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,849
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24960043
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Bproudnbrave/pseuds/Bproudnbrave
Summary: Yerim hears something she wasn't supposed to hear and now she can't stop thinking about it.She never thought that Hyejoo would lie to her like that.
Relationships: Choi Yerim | Choerry/Son Hyejoo | Olivia Hye, Ha Sooyoung | Yves/Kim Jiwoo | Chuu, Jung Jinsol | Jinsoul/Kim Hyunjin
Series: Loona One-Shots [8]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1664887
Comments: 3
Kudos: 90





	Change of mind

**Author's Note:**

> I know it took a while for me to come back with a new one-shot but here we are, finally.   
> I hope you like it, let me know in the comments:)  
> Have a great day and stay safe!

Yerim isn't jealous, she really isn't. She just wonders why it still hurts and why those words won't leave her mind.

“ _Gowon, you chose Olivia Hye but she chose Choerry.”,_ the interviewer had said and Yerim watched as Hyejoo turned to look at Chaewon.

“ _I changed my mind. I'll choose Gowon then.”_ , she corrected herself and from that moment on, Yerim started feeling this pain in her chest that won't go away. It only got worse when after the interview, Yerim overheard Chaewon and Hyejoo talking, the former having been visibly upset.

Hyejoo told her that she had wanted to pick Chaewon too but felt like she couldn't when she knew that Yerim would choose her. She has been her first friend after all.

“ _But you're my best friend, Chae. I didn't want her to be upset, you know how she can be.”_

That was three days ago and Yerim has successfully avoided Hyejoo since then. It's not like the newest member of Loona made any effort talking to her, she probably didn't even notice Yerim distancing herself from her.

Yerim isn't jealous, she isn't mad, she just feels so...disappointed. Lost. Betrayed. And not by the fact that Hyejoo had wanted to choose Chaewon but by the fact that she acted like picking Yerim, just to make her feel better about herself. It's not like she needs Hyejoo, she's her own person and she doesn't need a 'best friend' like Hyejoo. She doesn't need someone who talks badly about her behind her back.

“Choi Yerim! Dinner's ready!”, Jungeun yells from the hallway, making Yerim jump a little. She's just been standing in the middle of her room, lost in her own thoughts. If she doesn't care about Hyejoo's acknowledgment, why is she only ever thinking about her?

“Yerim, did you hear me? I said din-”

This time, Yerim doesn't just jump a little. Pressing a hand to her chest, the girl tries to get her breathing back under control as she watches Jungeun look at her with a confused look before asking her whether she's okay and coming.

“All good, you just startled me. I'm coming, unnie, thanks.”, Yerim answers and follows her unit's leader into the dining room where all the girls are already digging into their food. Everyone except for Hyejoo and Chaewon.

“They said they'll eat later, gotta finish one of their stupid games first.”, Sooyoung says as she notices Yerim looking around and hesitating to sit down.

“Are you okay, Yerim? You've been so quiet the past few days.”, Jiwoo chimes in after a few minutes of casual small talk between the girls. You wouldn't guess it but Jiwoo is a big observer, nothing goes unnoticed by her.

“I'm fine, just feeling a little tired, that's all. I can't sleep all that well.”

That isn't even a lie, Yerim thinks and smiles at Jiwoo who just nods and pats her back before giving her tips on how to fall asleep more quickly.

“I can cuddle with you if you want. Maybe that'll help.”, Hyunjin suggests with a serious expression but as soon as Heejin and Yeojin push her from both sides, basically just squeezing her, she breaks out into a wide smile, insisting that she meant it despite her friends saying that she's just after the croissants Yerim bought that morning.

Across the table, Yerim makes eye contact with Jinsoul. The older girl clearly knows that something is up but she barely got the time to notice up until now since she's spending most of her time in the studio. Jinsoul always knows when Yerim isn't feeling well. Despite Yerim having considered Hyejoo her best friend, she must admit that no one beats Jinsoul when it comes to caring and being there for someone, always giving everyone her unconditional love.

So it that doesn't surprise Yerim when Jinsoul stays behind at the table after everyone got up to either wash the dishes or watch a movie or play some new games that Vivi and Yeojin bought a few days ago.

“What did Hyejoo do this time?”

Yerim shakes her head at how ridiculous it is that Jinsoul immediately knows what's up and what this is about. It's always been Hyejoo, everytime she's upset or just more quiet than usual. Hyejoo has a huge influence on Yerim, to such a degree that Jinsoul's already been telling her that it's quite unhealthy.

Instead of responding to Jinsoul's question right away, Yerim comes up with one on her own. She's truly been curious about this for years now.

“You didn't choose anyone for that question a few days ago.”, Yerim knows that she doesn't need to specify anything, Jinsoul will know. “You knew she wouldn't pick you, that's why you didn't do it, right?”

Jinsoul chuckles awkwardly, stealing a quick glance at the person they're talking about. There's no need for Yerim to say her name. Just as much as Hyejoo is always on Yerim's mind, Hyunjin is always on Jinsoul's.

“A part of me wants to think that she always picks Heejin cause that's what the fans want, you know? They were the first two members so everyone loves their chemistry. People don't love Hyunjin's and my chemistry if there even is such thing. She once told me that it's all just fanservice, her and Heejin, so I'm clinging onto that thought. Did Hyejoo ever tell you that you're her soulmate and not Chaewon?”

Yerim knows that Jinsoul isn't trying to hurt her. She's genuinely curious while also wanting Yerim to see the truth. At the dorm, Hyunjin's always hanging around Jinsoul. They got matching clothes which is mildly gross unless Hyejoo would get something like that for her too, then Yerim would change her mind in a heartbeat.

But Jinsoul is right. This is very different. Hyejoo isn't Hyunjin. Hyejoo isn't her best friend, her soulmate. Hyejoo is just Hyejoo and sometimes Yerim wishes she weren't. Or maybe she just wishes she wasn't Chaewon's Hyejoo.

“No.”, Yerim answers defeatedly and cringes when she hears Hyejoo's voice piercing through the air.

“I thought you wanted to play the new game?”, she says and gestures towards the living room where Vivi, Yeojin and Jiwoo are sitting around the coffee table and setting up the game Yerim wanted to try out.

“Not now. But don't worry, we were just about to leave anyway.”

Yerim just couldn't hold herself back. She just had to snap at Hyejoo, not knowing what she was trying to accomplish with that. Maybe she wanted her to feel guilty, to not be so oblivious, to not come walking in here with Chaewon clinging onto her arm. Poor little Chaewon who needs Hyejoo's attention just as badly as Yerim.

Pushing her chair back and getting up, Yerim walks past Hyejoo, hearing Jinsoul get up to follow her.

“What? You can stay, I didn't mean it like that. Yerim?”, Hyejoo calls for her but her words are going unanswered.

As soon as Yerim and Jinsoul are in Yerim's room, the one she shares with Jiwoo, said girl flops down onto her bed and whines into her pillow.

“Okay, quit being so dramatic.”, Jinsoul laughs and sits down next to her friend, rubbing her back comfortingly despite her words.

“I don't know what to do, unnie. I didn't even tell you what happened yet.”

Yerim sits up with an exaggerated sigh and leans her head on Jinsoul's shoulder, waiting for the older one to wrap her arm around her shoulders which she does just seconds later. Knowing that Jinsoul is waiting for her to continue and explain what happened, Yerim speaks up again.

“After the interview, I heard her talking to Hyejoo.”, Yerim starts and a minute later, she's done and looking at Jinsoul with her big eyes and pouty lips, wanting some advice, needing it even. She doesn't want to lose Hyejoo. She wants to keep spending time with her and hugging her and playing games with her but at the same time, Yerim doesn't want it if she can be so easily exchanged with Chaewon. Chaewon hugs and plays games with her too. Hyejoo only needs one of them.

“Why is this so complicated for me and so easy for her?”, Yerim cries out and moves to lie down, placing her head on Jinsoul's lap.

“How do you know it's easy for her?”, Jinsoul asks, letting her fingers comb through Yerim's purple hair. As if Jinsoul's words were a secret cue, the door suddenly opens and Jungeun comes in, quickly closing it behind her again. She's looking worried.

“Hey. I knew something was up.”, she says with a chuckle and walks up to the pair, sitting down on the floor so she's at eye level with Yerim.

“Hyejoo also asked me to check up on you. She seemed worried.”

A quiet sob escapes Yerim's mouth as she turns around and cuddles into Jinsoul's oversized blue sweater. Meanwhile, Jungeun is looking at Jinsoul with a more than confused expression, pointing at the crying girl and silently asking what happened.

“Yerim, can I tell her?”, Jinsoul asks, patting Yerim's head and taking the small whimper as a yes. Maybe Jungeun can help. She's not the most touchy feely friend but she usually has some good advice for their younger members.

It doesn't take Jinsoul long to explain what happened, Yerim sometimes chiming in to correct her on her choice of words or to give more detailed descriptions and dramatic adjectives.

“Well, that doesn't sound fun.”, Jungeun says once her friends are done talking and now both looking at her with hopeful expressions. What do they want her to say?

“I don't know what to say, Yerim. I'm not Hyejoo, I don't know what she's thinking. I just know that she sometimes doesn't seem to think at all. It wasn't okay of her to say those things behind your back and-”

“She said she only chose me so I wouldn't freak out! That's what she thinks of me! I'm a nuisance to her.”, Yerim says and thinks back to the time when she was convinced Hyejoo actually liked her. When did Yerim stop being her best friend? She was there for Hyejoo whenever she needed her. She even skipped some classes to comfort her since she tends to get overwhelmed by too much attention. Yerim was the one who told her to keep chasing her dream of being an idol despite the hardships they would have to face. She did all that just for Chaewon to come in and steal Hyejoo away from her? I shouldn't be thinking like this, Yerim tells herself. None of this is Chaewon's fault.

“Unnie, how did you feel about Jiwoo and Sooyoung unnie getting so close?”, Yerim asks, hoping that Jungeun has some words of comfort for her, something to help her calm down and help her regain some kind of faith in her friendship with Hyejoo.

Jugeun chuckles, “I don't know, to be honest, I never gave it too much thought. I love both of them so I didn't mind and they're in a subunit together so it's not like them having more contact than Jiwoo and me was avoidable. I'm also pretty sure we all know that the bond they share is very different from the one Jiwoo and I have.”

“That didn't help at all.”, Yerim groans and glares at her members that can't help but laugh at her.

She would laugh too if this wasn't so serious to her.

“Didn't it, though? Chaewon and Hyejoo are both yyxy members and spend a lot of time together, just like Jungeun, you and I do. While we were busy training and promoting, they were by themselves and when it was their turn to train and promote, they were together again. I don't think Hyejoo is putting Chaewon over you, you're just in different lanes.”

That does actually make sense, Yerim thinks as she looks at Jinsoul who is giving her a reassuring smile. Jinsoul's advice is always the best. Most of the time. Sometimes.

“So what does that make me then? I'm not her best friend. I'm not her soulmate. I'm just _a_ friend and that doesn't sound like Chaewon and I are head to head. It's also still not okay of her to lie to me and say things about me behind my back.”

Seeing Yerim so upset, Jungeun gets an idea. Something she thought about many times before but she usually just forgot about it or told herself she's imagining things. Now, with Yerim acting like the world is ending, Jungeun's convinced she knows the real reason behind Yerim's worry.

“Maybe we should talk about what Hyejoo is to you first.”, Jungeun suggests sneekily, catching Jinsoul grinning at her, probably having thought the same thing.

“She's my best friend!”, Yerim quickly rushes out, the panic in her eyes and voice giving it all away which she even notices herself. She knows she blew her cover if there even ever was one.

“She really is my best friend,” she says again, this time a little more slowly, “but there might be more to it. I don't wanna think about it too much, to be honest. I gave up on that a while ago, not really knowing that I would have to give up on her being my best friend too.”

“How about you just talk to her? Tell her that you heard her talking to Chaewon and see what she'll say. I don't like seeing you like this, Yerimie. You're clearly hurt and the only person who can end this is Hyejoo.”, Jungeun says and takes Yerim's hand in hers. Jinsoul and Jungeun have always been members that Yerim feels super attached to, they are like actual big sisters to her. The other older members are too but it's different with OEC.

“I don't know, unnie. I'm scared of her reaction.”, Yerim admits and looks past Jungeun, staring at the poloaroid pictures she took with Hyejoo last comeback. I look so happy, Yerim thinks and wishes she would feel that way again.

“I don't want to sound mean but can you leave? I need some time to collect my thoughts.”

Jinsoul and Jungeun just nod, the latter messing up Yerim's hair on purpose when ruffling through it, hoping to get a smile out of her friend. She does get a smile but everyone could see it's not genuine.

Jinsoul only gets up once Jungeun's out of the room, using the opportunity to kiss Yerim's forehead like a mother would do to her child. Jungeun always makes fun of her for doing so or says she's being gross so Jinsoul prefers being alone with Yerim when showering her with affection. In the end, she knows that all of her members enjoy the casual kiss on the cheek or a little too tight hug she's giving them sometimes.

“This will only end once you talk to her, Yerimie.”, Jinsoul whispers and combs through Yerim's hair with her fingers, getting rid of the mess Jungeun's made. Yerim just nods and hugs her friend one last time before pointing at the door with a pout which would make most people upset but Jinsoul knows Yerim just needs some alone time.

Problem being, once Yerim's alone she isn't too sure that alone time is what she needs. The second her unnies are gone, thoughts come rushing to her mind again. Bad thoughts. What if Hyejoo never even liked her and she just imagined all that? It would make sense. Who wouldn't want to imagine Hyejoo returning a hug and not wanting to let go once she admits that getting hugged isn't so bad after all? Or having her appear in front of her bed in the middle of the night which was, although a little scary, the cutest thing Yerim has ever seen. She just stood there with a pout, hands hidden in the sleeves of her sweater, asking whether she can sleep in Yerim's bed 'cause she can't sleep after having played her games for too long. And what about the time she found Hyejoo crying in the company's restroom or in the school one's? Yerim was always there for her and Hyejoo always allowed her to be there. Did she really just imagine all that?

Yerim looks at the clock and notices that she spent a whole hour thinking about Hyejoo. This isn't normal, she doesn't even spend that much time thinking about herself. She needs to do something about this whole mess and she needs to do it now.

Determinedly, Yerim gets up and takes big steps towards the door, just to watch it swing open all by itself. What? How is that even pos-

Oh.

“Are you serious?”

“ _Hyejoo, hey! Wait, I don't think you should-_ oh!”

Yerim couldn't be more confused. What does Hyejoo mean 'is she serious'? Serious about what? And why is she crying?

Also, what does Hyunjin have to do with anything? She looks like she just saw a ghost.

Without another word to Hyunjin, Hyejoo steps into the room and closes the door behind her, sniffling before rubbing her eyes to get rid of the few stray tears that made their way down her face.

“Why would you tell Jinsoul that I don't care about you?”, Hyejoo asks accusingly, not really mad at Yerim for talking about her behind her back but mad at herself for making Yerim feel so upset and hurting her like that.

Right, Yerim thinks. She forgot about Jinsoul telling Hyunjin everything and of course, Hyunjin would then tell Hyejoo.

“I didn't say you don't care about me. I just said that I apparently care a lot more. I heard you talk to Chaewon after that show. Next time, please don't give me a pity vote. I don't want to be the best friend of someone who talks about you behind their back.”, Yerim yells, feeling a sudden anger overcome her. How dare Hyejoo come barging in here, crying and trying to make her feel all guilty? Yerim's upset and she isn't afraid to show it anymore.

“I'm not your best friend and that's okay. Chaewon probably makes an amazing best friend. I just don't understand why-...I don't know. How come Chaewon is your best friend and your soulmate and I'm nothing to you after all the effort I put into our relationship? You could have given me a heads-up and I wouldn't have tried so hard.”

Yerim knows that what she's saying is a lie. She likes helping people and she would have helped Hyejoo adapt and get more confident even if said girl wouldn't have wanted it. She did this to herself but Hyejoo could have at least made her disinterest clearer.

“You're not nothing to me, Yerim!? You're the exact opposite and I don't-”

“What exactly is the opposite then, Hyejoo?”, Yerim asks, cutting Hyejoo off. She didn't plan on making this easy for her. The problem is that Hyejoo's silence is making it harder for Yerim too.

“You're my soulmate too.”, Hyejoo dares to say, knowing that Yerim will protest again.

“Oh, am I now? That's the first time I ever heard about that. Will you go to Chaewon and tell her that you didn't actually mean it this time too? You can't have two soulmates!”

“Yes, you can! You're Jinsoul's soulmate and so is Hyunjin.”, Hyejoo argues, not needing time to think this time around. Maybe she had part of this already prepared in her mind.

“That is different! Hyunjin and Jinsoul are clearly in love with each other and-”

No. This can't be. Why did Yerim not think of this before? So Chaewon isn't just her best friend and soulmate but her...girlfriend? Are they a couple? How come Yerim never noticed? Maybe she just didn't want to.

The way Hyejoo looks at her tells her she's right.

“Yerim, I'm sorry. I- I didn't want you to find out like this! I swear I didn't plan on this and I never used you or looked at you weirdly or-”

Wait. What?

“What are you talking about?”, Yerim asks, more confused than ever. Did she miss something?

“You...you looked mad. Or disgusted, I don't know.”

“I'm sorry, I didn't mean to. I just didn't know you liked her like that. I didn't even know you liked girls. Maybe that's why we're not best friends, 'cause I don't know you as well as Chaewon.”

Hyejoo doesn't like the way Yerim suddenly goes quiet. Her eyes look empty and her shoulders are slumped, something Hyejoo does but never Yerim. Wait- Did she just suggest that-

“NO! I mean, no, I'm not into Chaewon. You know what, just forget it. Maybe we can talk some other time when we both cleared our minds a little.”, Hyejoo suggests and would have left if a hand wrapping around her wrist didn't stop her.

“The only one that can clear my mind is you so I'd prefer we get this over and done with before I go crazy from missing you so much.”, Yerim says, her expression mirroring Hyejoo's, tears in her eyes, her cheeks a shade darker than usual, just like the tip of her nose.

“I'm not sure I fully understood what we just talked about, to be honest. All I know is that I felt so betrayed and hurt when I heard you talking to Chaewon. What even did you mean _you know how she can be_? I would have been less hurt if you had just chosen Chaewon but instead you chose to lie to me.”

Hyejoo can only nod. Once, twice, three times. All the while, tears are streaming down her face. Hurting Yerim is the last thing she would ever want to do. It's probably time to properly explain herself right now, no matter the outcome possibly being something that would shatter her heart. It's already breaking anyway but she'd rather have her heart in pieces than Yerim's.

“I'm sorry. And you're right, I should be honest with you. I wasn't then so it's time now.”, Hyejoo whispers and wipes away the tears with her sweater paws, walking around her friend and sitting down on the desk in the corner of the room that is surprisingly organized considering Yerim and Jiwoo share this room.

Yerim follows Hyejoo and sits down next to her, hoping the desk won't break underneath their added weights. Hyejoo hates the distance Yerim is keeping.

“Chaewon knows things you don't. Things that I can easily talk to her about because she isn't part of that thing. You are, Yerim. You kind of are that thing. Wait, that sounds awful, I just...I don't know how to do this. I thought that if you were actually reciprocating these feelings, you would be the one to confess and if you didn't, then I wouldn't confess anyway so I didn't prepare for this at all.”

Yerim's eyes widen in surprise and she leans to the side, further away from Hyejoo, looking at her as if she just told her she killed a man. The thing is, even if she did, Yerim is sure she would still love Hyejoo just the same.

Apparently, Hyejoo isn't really aware of the fact that she indirectly just confessed to Yerim. Quite directly, if you asked Yerim. Yerim who can't help but think that this must be some sort of prank. Some sick prank that Chaewon and Hyejoo are pulling on her to, once more, show her that they are better friends than Yerim and Hyejoo could ever be.

“I'm sorry, you know. I guess I should have distanced myself from you once I started feeling like... _this_ but I also just didn't want to hurt you.”

“ _This?_ ”, Yerim asks and only now notices how tense Hyejoo is, sitting there with her back all straight, her shoulders pulled back and her hands in her lap. This isn't like Hyejoo at all. _Her_ Hyejoo.

“Yeah, like this. I don't really see the point in explaining since you clearly don't feel the same so you wouldn't understand but-”

“I don't feel the same as you? So you don't feel all weird in your stomach area while your chest feels like it's about to burst? You don't sometimes feel yourself staring at me – which I know you do, I can feel when you're looking – and you don't even know why,” Yerim watches Hyejoo blush and look at the floor instead of at Yerim, as if she just got caught in the act, “You don't wish for more hugs or cuddles or watching Harry Potter with me when-”

“Okay, I don't wish for _that!_ I watched every single one with you already, once should be enough.”, Hyejoo says, her smile all big. Yerim matches her expression when she catches Hyejoo relaxing and slumping her shoulders again.

“ _Anyway,_ all those things I just said, and more, is how I feel. About you. And you don't feel that too?”, Yerim asks.

Hyejoo slowly lifts her head again to look into Yerim's eyes while nibbling on her lower lip, a habit that Yerim always told her off for. Not this time though. This time, Yerim can't help but consider it entrancing, attractive even. How did she never notice before?

Instead of focusing on that though, she should focus on how long it's taking Hyejoo to respond. Not because she doesn't know what to say but she doesn't know how to say it. Annoyed at herself, she lets out a sigh.

“That's why I said you would be the one to confess. You're just better at it. You're better at most things.”

Another elongated sigh.

“If this building was burning, the first person I would save would be you.”

Yerim bursts into laughter at that, leaning to the side and letting her head drop onto Hyejoo's shoulder out of habit.

“That's an awful way to confess.”, she laughs but still hooks her arm around Hyejoo's, not letting her escape even when Hyejoo tries getting out of Yerim's strong grasp, not feeling too happy about her making fun of her like that.

In the end, she gives up and lets Yerim cling onto her, it's what she's been complaining about missing for the past few days after all. Chaewon will be happy to hear that she doesn't have to listen to Hyejoo's whining and noises of complaint anymore when Yerim isn't giving her enough attention.

“What now?”, Hyejoo asks after a while, enjoying the silence that settled around them but also wanting to settle things to make sure there won't be any more misunderstandings.

“I don't know, to be honest. I guess I'll just wait until you ask me to be your girlfriend.”

It would be a lie to say that Hyejoo's heart didn't skip a beat at Yerim's words. Girlfriend. She never thought the day would come where she heard that word in connection with Yerim, in a genuine way at least. Of course, Chaewon drops the occasional jokes but that just led Hyejoo to believe that that's all it's ever going to be. A stupid little joke.

“You would really want that?”, Hyejoo asks and carefully pushes Yerim's head off her shoulder so she can look at her properly.

“Of course. What do you suggest we do if not becoming girlfriends?”, Yerim laughs and takes Hyejoo's hand in hers, squeezing it a little too hard which causes Hyejoo to wince a little.

“I don't know. I'm just surprised by how sudden this all this. But if you're sure,” Hyejoo starts and scoots off the desk, moving to stand in front of Yerim who's looking at her with big hopeful eyes, “then I'd like you to be my girlfriend, Choi Yerim.”

Yerim doesn't even hesitate. Her arms and legs are wrapped around Hyejoo's body in a second and she keeps on saying yes as she hides her face in the crook of her girlfriend's neck, letting out little squeals. Hyejoo doesn't even try to hide her smile as she pats Yerim's back and, to her own surprise as well as Yerim's, presses a kiss to Yerim's temple, the only place she can now reach with the older one all over her.

Instead of cuddling with Hyunjin that night, Yerim has Hyejoo by her side. Jiwoo was nice enough to give the two of them some alone time but in the end, they all know she was glad to have an excuse for sleeping in Sooyoung's bed.

And as they lie there, Yerim can't help but think about all the time she could have spent with Hyejoo by her side already, hadn't she been so stubborn and scared of rejection. When she feels her girlfriend's soft lips against her shoulder though, she quickly bans the thought from her mind. They are here now, together, and that's all that matters. So Yerim cuddles back into Hyejoo's front even more, ignoring the noises of complaint she's getting.

She can finally be herself around Hyejoo again, now more than ever.


End file.
